Jul 23, 2012

New Beginnings

This is the very first of a series of posts, that I will be sharing with the world (i.e. whoever comes across this blog). As I sit here and listen to "One Thing Remains" I am reminded that I am something other than I allowed myself to be. The "I" in "me" the person that God created the one who was born to two loving parents the one who as a child was a little "different", the one who in the beginning and to this day heard the beat of a different drummer. But the sound of that beat has faded in times past, and somewhere along the road I found myself lost.

I can't begin to know where it all started - and while I have ideas, which I may or may not post here... the bottomline is this: I want to get back to a place to the crossroads to which I made a few wrong turns, down a bumpy path, sometimes to a dead end. Where the destination isn't exactly what I had hoped it would be. How do I do it? I don't know but I do know one thing - I must back track - I must try to undo all the wrongs, I have committed by confessing the truth of so many things, but more than anything the truth of who I know I am versus the lie I believed I was...

Maybe I should have started with this... I believe in God, one true God, the God of all. And yes, this God, is the God of MY understanding, but I believe that THIS GOD is the one true, all knowing, all powerful God that is and ever will be. Does He fit into modern day Christianity or some other religious culture we have become so familiar with or enemies of? NO!! NO!! NO!!. I was raised a traditional Southern Baptist in Eastern NC and while I believe every single thing we find in what we have come to know as the "Holy Bible" I certainly have not lived it. Does this mean I am a radical - absolutely not.

I am struggling for my own life, my own sanity in the contradictions that I face daily, with what I was taught, and hear, and see - I can't begin to force these beliefs or ideals on another human being. But what I can do is strive desperately to Love like God/Jesus did and does today. Wasn't that the first commandment? To Love your neighbor as yourself? I am sure many people would argue if that was actually the first commandment - some would say to have no other gods before the one true God. I agree with both and so that is the goal I pursue.

So this is the start. Recognizing that I am not what God intended me to be, not living the way He intended me to live. This is not about someone else, about some political affiliation or some culture, or subculture. This is about me putting it out there, being honest, sharing with God and the world - a struggle and a truth that just might shed light in a dark place - that I would no longer find myself in this place, but that I would truly become transparent, so that what I know lives beneath all the SIN, yes SIN, would shine through. And through that transparency someone even just one, might see what I know to be true. I am so thankful to God for the near death experience which I am sure I will reference often as the weeks progress. For without that experience, there is literally no telling (yes thats southern) where I would be.

I have bargained with God for years, as I am sure so many have...and I know my time is running out, if not the world's. I have had many revelations and dreams, that for the most part have kept to myself. I will be sharing some of those here in the coming weeks.

I have learned some very hard lessons, and I am still learning. I know that we have entered into a time of great division (this was a vision as well) and in that division so much change is and will be taking place. In my heart of hearts, I am extremely fearful - which most do not want to hear and I personally want to move past that. The fact that I am fearful tells me I do not have what I need, which includes knowledge, revelation and a daily close connection with God.

It is my hope, that all who read this post and the ones to come, would also search their souls, their lives and pursue God - however, whoever you perceive God to be...because it is through that pursuit, that God reveals Himself to you. It matters not if you were raised a Christian, a Buddhist or you are an atheist - There is a God!!! And everything that surrounds us and is evidenced by creation itself - literally screams OUT... THERE IS MORE THERE IS MORE... there is something MORE beyond our 5 senses. There is something Divine evidenced in everything around us and you must question it you must seek... God honors that you know? Its like taking a leap of faith and simply extending your hand out into space, believing that something or someone out there will respond. I promise you He does!!!!

I am no Bible scholar and if someone were to ask me to prove something to you, I doubt that I could, but thats not why I am here. I can't prove anything only God can. I can only share my life experience with you in hopes that you would get a glimpse of something greater at work, something Divine - something and someone I call God.

So let it be... change is afoot and it starts with me. May God bless you richly and may you seek the God of your understanding with your whole heart, and He will reveal Himself to you... I promise.

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