Jan 30, 2013


Jan 28, 2013

He is the Way the Truth and the Life

Over the past several days as I listened to a beautiful song, "Who Can Compare"...there was one phrase that kept making its way deeper into my heart.  There was something more significant to it than all the others, something that kept my attention.

So I just listened over and over and over again.  It starts out with the words "You gave us life, who can compare to you my King, who can compare to you my Lord, who can compare to you my friend"

That one phrase that stuck with me, that held more significance was "You are the way, you are the truth, you are the life!"..  "You are the way, you are the truth, you are the life"...

This one phrase sums it all up!  It literally gives the full and complete testimony of Jesus Christ and all that it encompasses.

This phrase comes from the book of John chapter 14.  Jesus comforts His disciples in this chapter.

God was showing me the completeness, the all encompassing work that was accomplished through His birth, His life, His death, His resurrection and the purpose and quality of His Holy Spirit.

Jesus is the Way because He made a Way.  John 14:6 Jesus said:  "I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."  He IS the way.

He is the truth by His spirit.  Through His Spirit we are comforted and He leads us into ALL truth.   John 16:13 " But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth; He will not speak on His own, He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell what is yet to come."

It is His spirit leading us into ALL truth that sanctifies us.  Sanctification is the process of obtaining sanctity, of being made or becoming holy.  The Holy Spirit is God's agent in the work of sanctification and the means used by the Holy Spirit is the word of Truth.  John 17:17 Jesus said "Sanctify them by truth, your word is truth."  

It is through the process of sanctification we are made holy and in holiness we find life.  Having laid ourselves down, repenting of our sins, through death we find true life in Him, in His Spirit and His Spirit within us!!!

He really is I repeat. HE REALLY IS, the Way, the Truth and the Life!!!

This revelation this truth, this fullness of what He said, is so deep within my heart right now.  He literally sums up His entire purpose and His fulfillment of the same in that one statement.  "I am the way, the truth and the life"...

I could write so much more about this.  When we act in faith, believing in Christ and what He accomplished, we are born again.  When we allow His spirit to lead, guide, direct, comfort and convict us, we are sanctified.  The Holy Spirit works with the Word, which we must consume and have it written on our hearts.  Think of it as inviting the Holy Spirit into our lives to rebuild us.  To construct a temple fitting for a King!!  In order for Him to be able to reconstruct we must give Him the carpenter's tool - it is His Word.  When we bring His word into the temple, the Spirit will begin the process...  For me personally as I plant the word in my mind, through sanctification He writes it on my heart.  It becomes a permanently placed feature within my mind and my heart, manifested in my life through my actions, thoughts and deeds.  Thus I am being made holy!!!  The word actually begins to live in and through me.  Truly He is the Life, that is resurrected in me through His Spirit and the process of sanctification.

Life without Him has us going in many different directions, many ways are the paths that we take but there is only One Way that leads to True Life and it is through Jesus Christ, just as His word declares and through the process of being made holy by the working of His Spirit we obtain Life everlasting!!!

Truly - Truly I say to you - He IS the Way, the Truth and the Life!!!

Jan 27, 2013

The Lord of the Flies is on Fire

The First Time I Heard His Voice

Today as I searched for various things, a new word, a new teaching or perhaps a new perspective on an old teaching, I came across a friend's testimony.  Benji Clark Mallory.

It was many years ago, that I had already started a new journey, one that obviously took a different turn and led me astray, but thank God I am back!  During this time I was very "religious" and thought I was doing all the right things.  I was involved in Church, the one I grew up in and my family had started back and everything seemed like it was on the right track.  Little did I know at the time it was just another distraction because you see, I had all the workings of what appeared to be a relationship with Christ, but I was only participating in the "business" of Church.  It felt good, it kept me busy and I was meeting the expectation of the "people" but it was all empty.  I still had a huge empty space in my life, my heart, my spirit that I wasn't even aware of.

One night we were invited to go to the local Salvation Army to hear Benji speak.  I never had met this lady but heard great things and several us went to hear her speak.  I can't even begin to recall what the message was that night, but the one thing I will always remember is the joy that I saw so many others experiencing.  I grew up in a traditional Southern Free Will Baptist Church - which for the most part was somewhat reserved but had seen some changes over the past few years.  The people that were there singing, praising, dancing, playing instruments - were different and I had never seen or experienced that... it was something new to me.

So when I got home that night as I lay in bed, I pondered what I had witnessed not recalling one word of the message that Benji had given.  And as I pondered to myself these thoughts came to my mind:  "If God is the God everyone says He is, and He loves us as much as people say He does, then doesn't He want to have a true relationship with me, doesn't He want to speak to me?"  Then I pondered even more and thought to myself:  "We read all about Him, we sing about Him, we talk to others about Him, we even ask Him for all the things we need, especially in crisis, in heartache, in trials and tribulations - doesn't He really want us to speak to Him directly, sing TO HIM directly...."  then the ah ha moment hit me like a ton of bricks, it was like the heavens opened up and revelation just poured over me.  AH HA.... YOU DO want us to speak to you directly, you DO want something more than just to hear about our woes, our aches, our pains, our heartache... My GOD!!!  Surely, surely you can speak to me just as I speak to you.

You see most often, we have no problem asking this God, the one who we have heard about, talked about, profess to believe in - we have no problem asking Him for all the things we think we need, we have no problem asking Him for deliverance when we realize we are caught in something be it disease, fear, whatever the case... we have no problem asking for what He can give us.  The problem we have is seeking Him when we don't need these things and speaking to Him directly and having two way communication.  I pondered this a little more and I said:  'God if you are the God you say you are and you hear our cries, and you love us the way your Word says you do, then don't you want us to hear what you have to say?"

So I decided, Okay... I am going to see, believing that what I had just pondered and concluded was true... I am going to ask a question - the events of the evening hearing Benji speak and seeing so many people filled with joy...  the question I had the one thing I wanted to know most at that moment was what I was about to ask Him:  "God, what was it about those people, they had so much joy and excitement, they were dancing and praising You...what is that, why don't I have that?"  Immediately without any pause, without any delay I heard His voice so clear, so soft....  He said:   Tim, you were focused on their method, rather than their Source".

Hallelujah!!!   WOW... WOW, I thought to myself.  I was overwhelmed by the pure and absolute Truth of His answer, but equally overwhelmed that God had just spoken to me, the first time I was consciously aware of His voice.  I was overwhelmed with Joy and it was that moment, that act of faith in prayer in seeking in wanting to know something directly from Him, directly from His voice that changed my life.

From that moment on I was distinctly of aware of the difference between singing about Him and singing to Him, the difference between making my own petitions known to hearing what He had to say.

He has so much to tell us to share with us, to reveal to us if we would just use that faith the size of a mustard seed to reach out to Him, directly to Him and wait on Him.  Use that same faith to be patient, to be persistent and pursue Him with your whole heart and I promise you, just as He does, that He will hear and He will reveal Himself to you.

Revelations 3:20  Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with Me.

I am sharing Benji's testimony with you and know that you will be blessed.

Come Away With Me My Beloved

Last night as I lay in bed, headphones snug to my ears listening to some of my favorite praise and worship music, hearing God's voice - He reminded me of all the times He caused me to think of Him through the beauty and intricate workings of creation, of nature.

Psalms 19:1-4

The Heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge; they have no speech, they use no words, no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. NIV

Romans 1:20

For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. NIV

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? NIV

He causes me to think of the seasons, winter, spring, summer and fall.

There are times in our lives, if we are true followers of Christ when the season seems cold, dark, and His presence seems to escape us.  But we can simply look outside our window during these times, this season and understand the purpose of His plan. Surely His Word declares the same, but He surrounds us with His word, both written and spoken as the verses above convey.  Even the plants and animals retreat into a place that is safe, secure, renewing, refreshing and during this time they are made new again.  Think of it.  When the  winter months come and the warmth of the sun isn't enough to sustain the growth once realized in the spring and summer months - the plants seem to die.  Their fruit falls, then their leaves, water retreats from their branches and some limbs die off.  But we know the plant still lives deep beneath the soil, where their roots are protected.  During this time they store up the energy and renew their strength for the coming months when they will produce fragrant blossoms and nourishing fruit.  They will be food for all who are in need.  From the tiniest insects to the delicate butterfly.  Even for us.  But even more, not only will they produce fruit, that fruit will host a multitude of seeds, promise of producing after its own kind if all the conditions are right.

These are the times that God wants us to get alone with Him.  We cannot produce fruit unless we do.  We cannot be renewed and reenergized without going deep into His chambers, to wait upon Him, and seek His face, His presence.  This is the time more than any He says "Come away with Me"..    He wants us to come away with Him, to the secret place into His chambers.  

Matthew 6:6

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  NIV

The King James 2000 Bible says it this way: But you, when you pray, enter into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.

This alone time is critical to your walk with God.  This is the relationship, this is the communion with God, that He desires.  Without it the ability to produce fruit is very limited at best.  This is the essence of our walk with God, our testimony, our discipleship.  It is the very foundation of everything that He is calling us to be and do.  This is the place where it all starts, thrives and ends.

I have said it a hundred times or more.  We do not foster a relationship with God through someone else, except Jesus Christ and Jesus Himself made a way for us to go boldly before the throne of grace.  The very throne of God.

Hebrews 4:14-16

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet He did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. NIV

Let us come before Him, making our petitions known, in the name of Jesus that we might be renewed in this season.  Let us bow down before Him giving thanks, honor and praise.

We are to bear fruit, for all - that they would partake and come into the saving knowledge of Christ and what He accomplished, so they to will know they can approach the throne of grace for all their needs, for the healing of the nations and the expansion of His most glorious and magnificent Kingdom.   Let us go away with Him, into the secret place, into His chambers that His countenance would shine upon us.  Let us bear fruit throughout all the land!

Learn to recognize the seasons of your spiritual journey and respond accordingly.  He wants to be alone with you, to show you the mysteries of His kingdom.  To reveal the secret things that you might share them with those around you and He would live through you.

Deuteronomy 29:29

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. NIV

Jan 26, 2013

Growing Faith

I found this practical teaching/approach to how God works with us to build and grow our faith.  While Romans teaches us that God has given everyone a measure of faith, I don't believe that everyone has the same measure of faith.  Meaning that our trust in God to perform his own faithfulness in response to our actions, or acts of faith may be lacking.  In order for us to build our faith, working in unison with God, we must know Him and in doing so our intimate connection will build trust.  And as we grow in the knowledge of Him, of all His ways, power and faithfulness, we must also act in accordance.  James tells us that faith without works is dead.  In other words its non-existent if its not put to use, believing and trusting in God in His own faithfulness to us and to His commands if we should adhere and perform them.

So I pray, God help me build my faith.  Help me have the kind of faith the apostles had.  Surely this is the type of faith we need to do as you have commanded.  To heal the sick, the brokenhearted, cast out demons and yes even raise the dead.  For even greater works you said we would do.  You and Your Word do not change, so teach us Lord to have the kind of faith that will move mountains!


Hannah - Love this...

Jan 23, 2013

Discovering God

When I was a kid, pretty young, I pondered things.  I guess I was going through a phase I suppose everyone goes through when we start asking questions and becoming self aware.  I would contemplate ideas, questions, different things that mom and dad couldn't always easily answer.  Sometimes I would come to conclusions, other times the task or the answer just seemed to difficult and arriving at something that satisfied my curiosity just couldn't be found so I would leave it alone for a while.   One thing that I distinctly remember pondering and contemplating was the idea or understanding of "nothing".  This was the beginning of what seemed like a life long search.  I wrote poems and prose mainly for myself so I could go back and read it.  Something about writing it down made it all clearer, and it was easier to digest.

I wrote a poem about "Nothing" that started off as:  What is nothing?  Surely there is always something.

That short sentence caused me to think of all the things we might visualize in our minds, such as space, air, blackness..  but in this contemplation I realized even those things were something... space is made up of invisible gases, just as the air and so there was "something" even the space in between those molecules most likely housed even something.  The very fact that nothing is labeled as something meant it was something..

This really was the beginnings at the most basic level for me of discovering God.

Over the past few weeks I have been realizing the phases that I have and most likely many others go through when they are seeking answers, the bigger questions of life.

In order for someone to be saved, they must first realize they are lost.  In order for us to appreciate the day we must be acquainted with the night.  If we are missing the opposite formula of an equation we will never arrive at the answer.

When life just doesn't seem to work, when we have come to a point when we realize or at least hope for something more, then we have come to revelation, because in fact there is...something more.

In relation to God, this pondering of Nothing was in part His desire to reveal Himself to me, but I couldn't possibly have received this revelation if I had not asked the question, pondered the thought, and searched for the truth.

Once we realize we are lost, or that we aren't happy in the place we find ourselves physically or spiritually, then the only thing we are left to do, is to take action.  That action can lead us closer or further from the truth, the answer.  That action may in fact distract us from the truth... and isn't that the story of our lives, when you think about it?  Distractions are comfortable, entertaining.. its like a dance we participate in, swaying us this way and that, with highs and lows, fast and slow.  Until we again arrive at a point where we grow tired of the dance, of the distraction and we find ourselves asking the same question?  Why am I here, what is my purpose, where do I go from here, isn't there more?

We try this thing and that, sometimes we leave one thing for another, sometimes we go back to a way of life that was comfortable, that we seemed to fit into, that seemed "natural" ... we justify it and find ourselves defending it...and for the most part it feels comfortable, until it satisfies us no longer.  Often times whatever it is or has been leaves us empty, hurt, rejected, confused, hopeless... the list goes on.... and so we ponder more and think of this or that, perhaps we endeavor to try a new career, a new relationship, a new hobby... more distractions, if life in and of itself wasn't a distraction enough - to just get our jobs done, deal with family, our health, manage friendships and fight for a cause... whatever it is... we fill our lives up with things, people, places, distractions.

Then hopefully at some point we try "religion" or something "spiritual" because by now we realize and maybe believe that part of our make up, our identity needs some attention.  Again, we go to this church or that one, take up buddhism, new age, the power of positive thinking or something that says "I am addressing and nurturing my spirit"... and again, after some time we still need something more, this doesn't satisfy.  Surely it has kept me occupied, but I can see it really doesn't answer my questions or fulfill this void in my life.  Maybe we have gone through some addictions, or have some now, maybe not.  But none of it satisfies and we begin to ache and long for an answer, something more, something that does satisfy.

Perhaps we get to the end of all our efforts, all our pursuits and we give God a chance at least who we have been taught to believe is God and we earnestly seek the Truth.  By now we realize the Truth and nothing but the Truth will set us free... no matter how contradicting it may be to how we have lived our lives, or what other people have said, believe and taught... we realize we need the Truth.

Thats when things really change.  And only the Truth can be found in the One true living God.  But its a difficult pill to swallow a difficult reality to embrace when everything in us, everything we have thought, lived and breathed seems to contradict and vice versa.  It seems impossible.  And sometimes, we simply get a little taste of it and its bitter and we turn away from it... and settle in the lives we have created for ourselves, no matter how unsatisfying it may be to us... it feels better than being convicted, or condemned.  If feels better than what it feels like to be rejected.  And thats how it is sometimes we feel completely rejected, because we have identified so much with something that has become a part of us.  But I tell you its a lie.  This God and the people who say they represent Him, are evil it seems, they hate me, ridicule and mock me, gossip about me and everything they do and say... well if its of "God" I want no part of it or Him.  Unfortunately this is the case more than not.  But if you place or have placed your faith in people, fallible human beings, well you've been foolish.  Sure its natural to think we can trust others, and sometimes we can, but all humans are subject to error... just look at yourself and survey your life.  Enough said.

Stay with me. So are you willing to lay all you know and experienced to side for a bit?   Thats the biggest challenge you see... to be willing to place your belief on the judgment seat, to test its validity and consider an alternate reality.  One you can hardly comprehend, but have enough faith to just listen and ponder again like you did as a kid... just consider it for a moment.  That little bit of faith will possibly lead you into a reality you never thought existed or could be maintained.

If you feel lost, if the world isn't delivering if your spirit is hungry... God has what it takes to satisfy your every need and all the desires of the world, of the flesh, can be overcome. I am living proof.  No matter what it is, He has the power to overcome it, in fact He already has.  This phase is the most important... its the phase where you believe there is  One True God and He has your best interests at heart.  Thats all you need to know and believe for starters no matter what others have said and no matter who those "others" are, be it your parent, a spouse, a significant other, a well known preacher, pastor, anyone... it doesn't matter what status they hold or how educated they are.  They are all human, and fallible and their truth may not be the whole truth and their frame of reference, their life story is different from yours.

Some will never move past this point and they will justify their position, even if its one they aren't totally and completely overjoyed with.  They will defend it with their lives because its what they know and many deep down, have a fear of change, of moving into the unknown and making it known.  Many will never cross that threshold and be willing to lay everything down, even themselves for something far greater than the human mind could or will ever comprehend.

However, for those willing to take the leap of faith - to delve into the things of God, to pursue Him and seek His counsel, His spirit... you will be changed, so get ready.  Its like being tried through the fire... He will reveal to you that in fact you are lost and you need to come out of the forest.  You need to separate yourself as He will separate from you the things of this world, the things you know and replace them with the things you have yet to know.  Whatever it is you have bound yourself to, He will break if you let Him.  And when He does, and as He does, you will be put to death... you will become a living sacrifice.  He will come to live within you by His spirit and your eyes and ears will be opened to a new and supreme Truth, a world and reality that far exceeds the one you now live in.  I can't describe or explain it, I can only say you have to see for yourself.

This is a tough phase.  But if you pursue Him and His Kingdom, you will overcome just as He has overcome.. You will overcome yourself with His guiding, leading and directing.  You will truly begin to discover the One and true living God.  He will become very real to you.  This is the phase that you realize you are a sinner, and once you realize this, you will also realize you are in bondage and enslaved to these sins, to the desires of the flesh, to carnal things, to your own intellect, to so many things.  You will try in your own power to repent, to stop doing this or that and you will have some success but you will quickly find your strength is no match for the enemy's devices and that you need supernatural power, authority and the living Word inside of you, the Holy Spirit even.

You will learn that laying things down at the "cross" will have no effect, because you will just continue to go back out into the world and heap upon yourself more sin, more burdens.  When you tire of this and realize your own strength and will just won't cut it.  You will realize that Jesus didn't keep getting nailed up there over and over again, no, in fact it only happened once, and He died.  Then He rose again in three days, having conquered death hell and the grave.  This will be an Ah Ha! Moment, and the next time you go to the cross you will climb up there with Him, and be nailed down just as He was, and you will once and for all, die!  You will then relive the resurrection in Him, as He will live through you a little at first but as you pursue this continual death, continuing to repent and turn away from sin, but toward Him, He will increase and you will decrease.  You have to be willing to give everything to Him, everything, every thought, ever action, every deed.  You must be willing to sacrifice it all just as He did...and when you do, you will discover Life unending. True Life, eternal life, abundant life, His life!!!  A life of joy, of excitement of anticipation.  One filled with compassion and love, of humility and even power.  You will have no fear and you will begin to walk in His ways, His commands will become easy the same commands (not just the ten) that you thought were impossible.  All, I said ALL, I repeat, ALL things are possible with God.

He will consume all those things in your life that have distracted you, swayed you, taken you down a dead end road.  He will clear the air, and confusion will be something of the past.  You won't have to "figure it all out" on your own anymore, He already has and He will reveal to you everything you need to know.

So are you at that point today?  Are you pondering something no one seems to have the answers to?  Will you be distracted the rest of your life or will you step out of the matrix to "Come Up Here and See?""

God bless you all.  I tell you, God is very real, very alive and very much wants you to know Him.  I don't have to sit here and tell you about rules and regulations, dogma and doctrine.  I can just tell you no matter what you believe, no matter what others have said or done - God can and will deliver you.  Which means He will take you out of this world, and birth you into one that can only been seen and experience through Him, Jesus Christ.  And unless you go through that process, being born again, just like our physical birth, only spiritual, you will never ever see or experience this Mighty and Glorious Kingdom.  And if anyone tells you its an easy process, and a simple prayer, well... I am hear to tell you that just "ain't" true.  I can't say you won't be saved, but being saved without sanctification is basically just making you aware you are in a prison and there is no escape.

Sanctification is the process in which we attain sanctity or holiness.  Being born is just the beginning right?  In my mind holiness is the equivalent of becoming mature, or allowing Christ or His Spirit to mature in fullness through us, through our lives.  To be made whole.  Surely when we are born we are whole and complete human beings, but we have not attained language or understanding to navigate our way through life and make the most of it, to realize our full potential.  Its the same with God, so while I want you to be saved and I want you to enter into this wonderful Kingdom, I want you to experience the fullness of it, as I seek it for myself.  I can only do that by allowing His Spirit to sanctify me.

Who wouldn't want this?  I mean really?  Forget what the right and left wing say, forget the ridicule and judgment you have felt by others, no matter who they say they represent... stop believing the lies that only ensnare, confuse and condemn you... God will reveal what things need to change in your life and He will give you the desire to turn away from them.  Don't believe a word I say, see for yourself and pursue Him!

Jan 21, 2013

Your Love Never Fails -Chris Quilala / Jesus Culture

I listened to this song all day today as I traveled from NC to TX.  Each time I listened the truth of it went deeper and deeper, there were several times in the terminals I teared up and thought, "Oh Lord, please don't let break down right here in the middle of hundreds of people.." and while He understood, He didn't relent.  He taught me so much today.  Most I have posted on facebook, some I am still processing, and some I am keeping between us.  I am so thankful for His presence, for His love, for His faithfulness.

Blessed Be Your Name (with lyrics)

Jan 20, 2013

Dying to Self

When we are in the process of dying to self... its difficult. Bittersweet, and painful. When He says to pick up your cross... let me tell you it can be heavy. But His burden IS light and His yoke IS easy. I am learning that I have no strength and no amount of intellect of my own, nothing I can do can earn His grace - But His grace, IS sufficient. I want to be completely emptied of these things in my heart, my mind that are not of You, that You might fill me to overflowing and I would be so hidden in You, that nothing of me would survive. I just want to be with You Jesus, nothing of this world compares to your presence, to your great Love, and Mercy... nothing. I just want to be at your feet, 24/7. Help me get there Lord!

Jan 14, 2013

Complete and Utter Separation - Dream

Complete and Utter Separation – Dream

This past weekend I watched several youtube videos and one in particular that detailed the dreams of many believers regarding the anti-christ.  After watching the majority of this particular video, I began speaking to God, telling Him that I honestly wasn’t as concerned about who the antichrist was but I was more concerned about the sin in my life.  That is the truth.  I have been so convicted and so aware of my weakness and at times I shutter in fear of God, with little fear of man or what is taking place on the spiritual stage in these end times.  So I asked God that evening, to please help me better understand, help me grow, or for Him to grow more in me, help me conform my will to His own.  So I prayed, “God give me a dream, something that will help me concerning this.”  I woke up at 4:30 A.M honestly amazed that God indeed answered that prayer through a dream.

I recounted everything in my mind and God encouraged me to send myself an email with bullet points so I wouldn’t easily forget. 

In the dream, I was in a dark cold evil place.  The only thing I can compare it to is the inside of a dark moldy sponge.  Imagine living inside that.  I could move rapidly through the tunnels and the maze of never ending openings, but it was still very dark and cold, deep and endless.  I was aware of my brother’s presence but could not see him.  I was also aware of why I was running, I was chasing after my mom, not knowing exactly where she was but doing my best to reach her.  (She passed away in 1998).  During this time, there was an overwhelming sorrow within me, I was wailing from within and without… I was overwhelmed with something worse than grief but that’s what I can compare it with.   I got glimpses of my brother here and there and at some point we caught up with each other still running and I also saw my mother and I chased after her.  I wanted so desperately to be in her presence.  She kept running… then suddenly my brother and I were riding on something.  I remember this feeling that wasn’t conveyed with words, but a communication that I had felt so totally loved and accepted by her and at the same time I was still wailing almost in agony that I was not with her and that I just needed to be in her presence.  Then all of sudden my brother said something that communicated the following:  “It all changed for me on 9/11” – meaning he didn’t feel loved until 9/11.  I don't think this was really applicable to my brother but God was using that statement to show me something.  When he said this I was appalled, completely disgusted feeling and I pulled back and I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  Then the scene changed and I caught up with my mom who had allowed me to run beside her for a short time, and then she reached her destination, a room or chamber, within the darkness but separated unto itself– and my last words to her were “Can I at least call you?” and she said “No” and shut the door.  I was so hurt, felt so rejected and the pain was so unbearable, I then realized I was actually dreaming and I called out to Jesus for it to end and immediately I woke up.  I can't describe the grief, the overwhelming grief I felt when I heard her say "No" and then shut the door.  I felt completely cut off...it was the most horrible awful feeling I have ever felt. 

What I think this dream means.  Since I prayed for God to help me with  understanding better about the sin in my life, I feel certain that He was showing me in part, what it would feel like to be utterly separated from Him.  The closest thing I think we have in this life to the love that God gives us is that of a mother’s love.  There is a tremendous bond between most children and their mothers.  There is nothing quite like a mother’s love.  This dream was more about the feeling than the actual events that were taking place in the dream.  When my brother said he didn’t feel loved until 9/11, I was completely appalled at the idea he couldn’t feel our mother’s love until then.  Because I know that I know she loved us both unconditionally and I just couldn’t understand how he could say that…and I pondered why God caused him to use 9/11 as a reference point.  Then He caused me to think about the book “The Harbinger” which I have read and I realized and remembered “He chastens those He loves” and I firmly believe (like so many other events) 9/11 was a wake up call to His Church, His people, His sheep and I understood then why my brother said that.  God disciplined us and brought judgment upon us through the 9/11 event, because it was just, and He loves us… and wants us to wake up, to turn our hearts toward Him and to repent of our sins.  The journey in the dream was short, and I feel that is an indication of the time we are in now.  The utter separation I experienced in the dream from my mom was indescribable and just like in the days of Noah… she shut the door, and I was not even allowed a phone call to her… God will do the same.  I think there is more to this dream than I am currently able to convey, but God is calling His people right now, to repentance and I am so driven to continually have a repentant heart.  But there is coming a time when repentance will not be an option for many and the door will be shut, and some will be completely cut off from God.  I can’t possibly comprehend that.  If anyone else has any ideas on the meaning of this dream please share.  It is extremely important that we seek God with all our hearts, our minds and our souls.  The sin in our lives keeps us disconnected and separated from God, do not let that separation be unto death!  I am certainly on my own journey personally and through this dream my faith in God has been strengthened because I literally prayed for the dream and He answered it in the same night.  While the dream was dark and caused great pain and grief, I am very thankful that God allowed me to experience that depth of despair (even in a dream) because I know its only a fraction of what I would feel if I was utterly and completely cut off from God.  

Jan 5, 2013

The Great Deception: Obama and the Coming War *PLEASE SHARE*

Where the Rubber meets the Road

I tell you there must be a time in every sinner's life, where the rubber really does meet the road, and I think I am getting there... Lord Help Me!

I struggle with myself, my own intellect, my own selfish desires and carnal pleasures and while I have to give God the glory for making those times fewer and farther between somehow I still manage to travel down that road and find myself committing sin against the One who died for me, the one who gave His life for me... how can this be...  how can I do that.

I am wretched and my heart is evil, and I pray and pray that He continue to circumcise it, and give me a new one, His own.

I have been so convicted of sin tonight, that I literally thought I would vomit.  I can't comprehend being so close to Him at times and so addicted to His word, and His presence - to get so far away in just a few hours.  The enemy certainly comes to kill, steal and destroy.

I need to study more and pray for revelation and a breakthrough because I know it exists.  I trust in Him, but I dare not trust in myself or my own evil heart.

God please please just do whatever it takes to seal me in You, to once and for all make me into what it is You desire.  I don't want this anymore, I don't want to sin against you or be separated from you not even for a second.

I shutter in fear sometimes, because I have willfully sinned - I can't comprehend how I can do it, but then again that is my intellect - and He warns us.  I know the battle starts in the mind - but how can I entertain thoughts and allow them to mature in order to be acted out in the flesh... how can I do this to you Lord?

I don't know what else to pray Father, I have no words no formula no equation, I have nothing, but surrender (and sometimes not even that) ... strengthen me God, strengthen me that my will be conformed to yours totally and eternally.  That no weapon formed against me shall prosper!!!

All who read, please pray, seriously please pray on my behalf  - I can't convey it any other way, except that I want to be totally and completely, utterly His - that every single thought, action and word would be His own, that He would live totally through me at any cost, and I mean any.  I trust in Him and I trust in His ways and no matter what comes, I will count it all Joy if it means that He and His life is evident through my own, that His will be performed and His kingdom expanded.  Thats all I want...


Jan 2, 2013


I feel compelled, moved even to share an update with my own personal, very personal walk, transformation - I guess sanctification process.

I have literally fallen in love with the Word, with God, and it grows each day.  I have confessed a life of sin some months back on this blog - the main and obvious one being homosexuality.  Sometimes I hesitate to write about it because I know in doing so it will alienate people, offend people, create distance and invite persecution.  But that is not what God has called me to do.  I remind everyone who reads, I am not condemning anyone, how can I, lest I condemn myself?  Obviously this isn't written for someone who rejects the Truth of God, the One True Living God and all Christ accomplished... the bottom line is if you don't believe it, you just don't.  If you are happy with your life and don't want anything more, this isn't for you.  But there are those out there who do, and this is for you. No matter what is holding you captive no matter what sin you have in your life.

I have and have had addictions of every kind.  Mt. Dew, cigarettes, pornography are the obvious ones.  Living a life of homosexuality has ended.  Do I still have thoughts, yes, do I still get those voices in my head that say "why don't you just look, or its only pleasure" and I could think of a million more and if I listen to those "whispers" from the enemy and allow them to grow in my mind, eventually they will be acted out in my flesh.

But I tell you the truth - God is delivering me - but I have to do my part, repent, resist and turn away and when those voices come, and those thoughts find their way into my mind, I call upon Jesus and by the power and authority He has given me, the devil DOES flee!!!  It's getting easier and easier and they are fewer and farther between.  I have also learned (and I am sure its in scripture somewhere) that an idle mind is a very very very dangerous thing and thats usually when the enemy comes in to plant seeds   of destruction.  Deception will always lead to destruction.

I don't want that life, I don't want to sin, I don't want to be addicted to Mt. Dew and cigarettes or anything.  But God is showing me... deliverance. He is leading me out of Egypt.  I find myself studying His word, and meditating on it and Him day and night and every free moment I have I am drawn to Him, and His teachings, and I am being transformed.  I don't know how else to say it.  I can't get enough lately.

I am becoming a new creature in Christ!!!  The enemy use to tell me the lie that God couldn't forgive this sin or that, because its so bad, so terrible.  And God would remind me.  "Tim as long as there is breath in your body, anything is possible with Me!!! and I forgive you!!!, Go and sin no more!!"  Surely He has told me that more than once and He has also told me that I wouldn't always have another chance.  He has told me many many times, "you must get into the Word, you must fill your heart and mind with My Word"... which in essence is His life, His spirit.  There comes a time I think in every sinners life, when they realize their sin, but in doing so also realize they are being held captive by it, having no strength of their own to stop it and become free of it.  Thats when the enemy tells you more lies "you'll never be free, you will never overcome this, you're mine"... don't believe that lie!!!  God has conquered it all and through His only Son, Jesus Christ, He conquered every sin past, present and future, but we must live in that Truth, acknowledging/confessing our sins before Him and asking for His forgiveness, repent and start following Him!  When you find yourself in the middle of the forest and you realize you're pretty deep into, know that when you do an about face, and start heading back out... thats what you are doing, you aren't out of the woods yet, but when you follow Jesus He will lead you out and into the promised land, the promises of God - when you accept the covenant He made for you, with you, and start living for Him, He WILL LEAD YOU OUT, HE WILL SET YOU FREE!

I love Him, I love Him and I want my life to show it.  He says in His word we cannot please Him without Faith, and He says if you love me, you will follow my commands.  That is what I am pursuing and striving for, through His strength and His instruction, not my own, because I have no strength apart from Him.  It is such a fantastic amazing journey, to go from bondage to freedom.  I can't explain it or express it any better.

By my sharing this I am just trying to be open and honest about where I am and what is taking place with me on a personal level, on a spiritual level - to be transparent, hoping that maybe someone who reads this wants that same freedom and joy that I am finding and that is growing every day -it is possible and its happening to me at this very moment.

The more I die to self and bring every thought and action under His authority, I am finding that He is more and more alive in me.  And with that, His Word is being revealed and He is helping me understand, He guides me and leads me into All Truth!!

He is setting the captive free and breaking bonds, opening blind eyes, and deaf ears and I am so grateful for that.  He is empowering me through His Word and Spirit and its really indescribable.

So thats my update.  I tell you He is real, He is True, His Word is true and surely a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  I am so thankful and humbled by His grace and mercy, and His eternal love for me!

Jan 1, 2013

Salvation - is that all?

As I continue on this journey, the search for truth, but ultimately an ever increasing revelation of God, and who I am in relation to God, not apart but in Him.... so many things are becoming so crystal clear, so painfully obvious.

Warfare is one.

How many of us are spectator Christians?  How many of us through our actions and prayers, or more often, lack thereof, tend to be stationary - tend to be receivers rather than givers, hearers rather than doers of the Word?

The enemy has so many of us so bogged down with problems, with sickness, disease, confusion, with constant judgement and fault finding, or just plain laziness, we never really understand who we are in Christ.  We never ever get the full understanding of what was accomplished at Calvary - we just  somehow "know" we are saved.  Well thank God for that right?  Thank God at least I am saved... is that all you can say, is that all you can identify with?  I mean really, I get so frustrated as I realize I have done this myself.

If that's all we identify with, salvation - then I dare say we might not be saved...  (no I don't want a bunch of negative comments or someones dissertation on the once saved always saved doctrine)... God didn't send His One and ONLY begotten SON to just save us... if thats what you think and how you live your life (me included) we should repent!!

Salvation is just the start, for without it there is no way we can do all the things He has called us to do and be.

How many times have you thought to yourself:  "why does this or that happen, or how can I be free of this or that"... well in a very simple and clear nutshell - we say "God is in control"...  well is He really?  Did you give Him control over that situation or by your silence, lack of faith, of action, of prayer you have defaulted that authority over to the one who is Prince of the power of the air?  Have you really thought about that?   Or we say, "if it's God's will"  --- oh my gosh I get sick of that more than any of them.... IF it's God will?  Do we not know God well enough to understand and KNOW what His will is for our lives, for those we love?  Surely we do???  (Was that an Ah Ha moment for anyone? Did anyone's mental capacity and intellect get "Upleveled"?

There are growing numbers of groups and organizations that feel like they have within them their own energy, their own self evolved, self appointed and self cultivated power to "think and grow rich" or "think and become well"... or "think and become......" and the list goes on.  Well all I have to say is continue to "think" .... for those interested in obtaining real power and authority, real and lasting results (eternal I'd say) then seek the One True Living God and start waging war by the power and authority given to you through the life, death and resurrection of Christ, through the Holy Spirit.  Otherwise the deception you are under will certainly lead to destruction and you will not be experience the liberating freedom and assuredness that comes by knowing Who HE IS and Who WE ARE IN HIM!!!

We must move past this phase of discipleship (and I am speaking of myself as much as anyone else) as being immature, unlearned, unempowered, and blatantly ignorant of WHO WE ARE and WHO HE IS, if we want to be and do as God intended.  We are more than "just saved" and if that is what our testimony consists of and nothing more - then God forgive us, God forgive us!

The day is coming soon, and I hope sooner... that we do just as Jesus taught His disciples, and even greater things according to His word.  Being just saved will have you sitting at the back of the bus, or last in line, and quite honestly I don't want to be one of those, and I don't want "just saved" people trying to defend me from the enemy because they will surely be sitting ducks. I mean really folks, honestly... Do you really think that God in His infinite wisdom and power, sent His ONLY begotten Son to live among us, to be ridiculed, to be beaten, stabbed, wounded, mocked and rejected.  To be tortured, executed and sent to hell (yes he went there to conquer it) and rise again....  just - I repeat ... JUST to save our sorry butts?  If thats what you think, and how you live your lives, I would implore even beg you to rethink your position, even your salvation - because I am telling you the truth when God invades your life, your mind and your heart, when you submit yourselves to Him and His Word and His ways you will quickly find out there is much more to the story and you will have a compelling desire to immerse yourself in His word, in Him and become what He has always intended - to be sanctified and transformed, truly transformed.  To act and live in power and authority to go from just getting by to getting over, from victim to victor, from pitiful to prosperous.

We get so happy and so elated when someone is "saved" and I am not by any means trying to diminish that, and discount it, because it can't be.  I am so grateful for the salvation through Christ, that we have been given.  But to who's benefit is it if we never move past that point of being saved?  Certainly not the world around us, not our friends who are struggling, our loved ones who are sick, confused, hungry and poor?  I will be elated when I hear the number of demons that were cast out and how many people were brought back from death, I will be elated when I hear a deaf man speak and a blind man see.  I will be jumping for joy when the good news, the gospel is actually being preached and fulfilled before our very eyes...

Do more than just get by in your "christianity" if you truly believe in the God you say you are a child of and serve, then put the Word into action, and step into the disciple and warrior God has called you to be.  Otherwise - get out of the way!

God Bless everyone, I tell you we must be more than "saved" we must be over comers, and warriors for Christ - praying without ceasing, with supplication and constantly being watchful, it is His command to us!

Move beyond just getting your foot in the door sorta speak - and desire earnestly to know who the new creation is, YOU... and what authority you have, what your inheritance is, what you are called to do in this life, today, right at this moment.

How would like if it today your parents sat you down and told you that you were kidnapped at birth and you really belonged to the richest people in the world, who have searched for you all these years... who have great power and authority - as compared to a life of poverty and abuse that you have suffered since you can remember - living in literal hell, on the verge of giving up...    You'd probably have a change of heart and immediately want to go be with your real parents, yes?

Well its time professing Christians find out who their Daddy is, its time we recognize truly who we are in Him, and the power and authority we have been given and stop believing the lies or being lazy - otherwise we are not advancing the Kingdom of Heaven, of God, we are not really preaching the good news, only a small part of it...  Its time!!!!

Nephilim - Why and What For?

From the Nephilim Mounds Conference held September 28-30, 2012 with Russ Dizdar.

01 Russ Dizdar - Opener - Nephilim - Why and What For? from MultEye-Media Productions on Vimeo.

Russ Dizdar - "The Black Awakening"

Russ Dizdar- "The Black Awakening" from GuarddogForGod on Vimeo.

Fishers of Men

Today I woke up early and decided to head back over to IHOP for breakfast.  Once done, I came back to my hotel and decided I would just rest and of course ended up napping for a bit.  As I woke up, I heard God say "Tim I am a fisher of men"... of course that is also understood to include women.  I immediately thought of fishing.

I remember as a kid going with my brother and sometimes my dad, sometimes alone to go fishing.  Most often we used live earthworms, other times artificial bait.  Sometimes the fish where biting sometimes not.  I imagined when I heard God say this, a hook down in the water attached to fishing line, with a live worm on the end.  I also imagined an artificial worm, or some shiny lure.  I thought about this and pondered.

So here I sit at my desk/laptop, writing to you as God reveals what He is placing on my heart.

In Matthew 4:18 Jesus is walking along the Sea of Galilee and He sees Simon (called Peter) and Andrew fishing, casting their net.  They were fishermen. In the next verse (19) He says to them:  "Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men".  At once, they left everything and followed Him.  Jesus continues doing this with two more brothers, James and John.  They also left their boat, and their father, and followed Jesus.  These men became His disciples.  Jesus went on to preach the good news, and to say:  Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.  This was His Galilean Ministry.  He went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and diseases among the people. People brought others to Him that were afflicted with various problems and torments, and those who were demon possessed, epileptics, paralytics and He healed them!

Great multitudes of people followed Him.

After this, Jesus went up on a mountain and His disciples came to Him.  Then He taught them saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.  Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."  Matthew 5:1-12 NKJV

(I encourage all to continue to read the rest of this story)...

I go back to the image of that fishing line, with the worm - I think about the Truth and how that compares to something artificial that has no substance.   What are we using for bait?  Have we taken a bit of something that only satisfies for a season, that fails to nourish our souls?

Even a fish knows the difference.  If we didn't have a hook on the end of the line and we simply threw an artificial lure in the water surely something would bite, but upon discovering the truth of it, the fish would spit it back out.  Do we not have a greater ability to discern false doctrine from the True Gospel?  The good news of the Kingdom?

So much of what we know of "Christianity" today is an artificial shiny doctrine that is false, I tell you.  So many think we have to dress it up, and make it shiny or loud, flamboyant, and dramatic - but in reality, the Truth the real Truth, speaks for itself and has substance.

The things of this world, even false doctrines, will only last for a while, and people find themselves still hungering for something more. I tell you, that "something more" is only found in Jesus Christ, in His life giving and sustaining Word.  In His Spirit.  The things of this world, will pass away but His Word will never pass away.

When God spoke to me this morning saying "Tim I am a fisher of men" - He was sparking my interest, getting my attention... to get into His Word, to say again to me:  "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me."  John 14:6

The ministry of Jesus is wonderful.  One of the things that is evident wherever He went and journeyed, was the deliverance and healing that took place.  The ministries we see today lack the demonstration of that power.  Why is that?  Could it be that the ministry is built upon that artificial lure, hook, line and sinker?  Jesus said that we would do even greater things but where are they?  I tell you, I believe with all my heart, there are many, who are searching for this and long to see this true and powerful ministry of Jesus restored in the land.  But where are the disciples who believe and follow like that of Simon/Peter, Andrew, John and James?

Jesus cleansed a leper, healed the centurion's servant, healed Peter's mother-in-law, delivered many demon-possessed people, heals a paralytic, restore's a ruler's daughter back to life, restores sight to two blind men, causes a mute man to regain speech.

All honor praise and glory be to Him that sits on the throne.  My Father in Heaven, my friend, and counselor, my strong tower and refuge, the One who carries me when I cannot stand on my own, who encourages me and reveals to me His wonderful mercies, goodness, and forgiveness.  Who's love knows no bounds!!  Amen!