Jun 26, 2007


Today was not unlike any other. However, someone's situation caused me to think and ultimately be thankful. She was waiting outside the PT department, in a motorized wheelchair, dozing off as I made my way down the hall. Before I ever reached her, something inside me smiled. I was aware of her situation, thinking to myself she probably often times has been overlooked, maybe even shunned, or made to be an outcast even if it was just a moment... strangers passing her by, never looking her in the eyes....never acknowledging her presence because its easier to deny. As if.... she wasn't there, as if she wasn't bound to a wheelchair, as if she didn't have to depend on others..... as if, imperfection was not part of this world, whatever perfection may or may not be.

So I said to myself before I ever reached her, knowing she was probably half asleep.... that I would acknowledge her, that I would say hi and ask how she was or just have a brief moment where we exchange words - my way of saying "I know you are here, alive, and breathing, that you have value and so I acknowledge you, and accept you as you are"... thats what I wanted to convey, some aspect of Love. So I did..

"Hi...... it's easy to fall asleep out here".... she opened her eyes at my hello, and as I finished...she smiled, and laughed and said "Yes"... thats all that was needed. It made me feel good, it brought laughter and a smile to her face.

So I moved further down the hall, and the "voice" within said... "How can we not be thankful?" To have two capable legs that carry us where we want to go, to have the freedom and independence that so many take for granted. To be able to run and not be at the mercy of a battery operated device to take us places? What about going to the restroom? How can we not be thankful to have the priviledge to go the restroom on our own? In our own privacy? How can we not be thankful???

How can we? Not be thankful? To be able to simply get out of bed in the morning, to breath, to have jobs to go to, to be priviledged in so, so many ways.

What are you thankful for today? We have so much to be thankful over, from the fact that we even live to all those around us that we love and cherish. Thank you God, thank you for everything, from the bed I sleep in at night, to the alarm clock that wakes me, to the house I live in, to the car I drive, for these "things" but moreso God, thank you for the peace... thank you for humbling me today and for helping me bring a brief smile to someone's face. Thank you for showing me what isn't, so that I can appreciate what is.

Jun 25, 2007

Sushi with Strangers

I'd be unfair if I said that truly, I was having Sushi with a stranger. A busy hectic day, new roommate moving in, behind on work as well as school, rushing back to the town I live in to get a much needed haircut - the phone rings. Its Rebecca, what a pleasant surprise. She visited once before to contemplate being a roommate, she chose a place closer to the hospital (she is doing her residency).... so as a "Thank you" to my hospitality - prior to her moving here, she calls me up and wants to take me to dinner. Rebecca is stunningly beautiful, well educated, Boston accent and while she may not appear it at times, I discern that she is very insightful. So she suggests sushi...mmmm. So we meet up at this place she has heard good things about. I arrive before she does, it's crowded, small, but lively, friendly. Its a young crowd for the most part - an atmosphere of the "fad" associated with consuming sushi, to excitement in the air over a change from the norm. We sit at the bar and she orders a large variety for me to try, while we discuss her move, bits and pieces of our lives, etc.. Good company, good food, and good japanese beer. Certainly, a much needed detour from the hustle and bustle of a typical Monday. Thanks Rebecca! I have new hang out for great food, and it was a pleasure to see you made it safely to good ole NC and are settling in. Hopefully, we will do again sometime!

Jun 17, 2007

Home is where the Heart is

One aspect of Heaven, for me at least, was having no sense of time or space. Read about the near death experience if you want to hear about it.

Sometimes, there are circumstances, experiences, or just moments of meditation that bring about this lost sense of time or space. You know, when you're driving home from work in the afternoon and before you know it, you've arrived without remembering much about the drive?

Last weekend, was no different. Only I was sitting across from someone who I love. We were having lunch, and for a moment while I looked into their eyes - I was lost, but present. I had no sense of anything or anyone around me, my peripheral vision was gone and the only thing that existed was that moment. And within that moment, all the years of friendship and experiences with this person, good, bad, indifferent and life changing seemed to be relived. It was refreshing, peaceful, and for a moment I felt like I was "home" again.

This person was the doorway to something greater. This person represented possibility, hope, eternity. This person was the key that opened a door, to a much better life, one full of peace. God revealed himself (unlike the NDE) in a way that I could understand and experience daily, through this person. God showed Himself, through the great love I experienced with this person.

I remember writing a story about "The House that ______ Built"... through this great and unconditional love, actually a home was built within me. A home that is safe, secure, loving and has a solid foundation. One that is suitable for others but more importantly for myself. Its the place I live.

So as we might experience joy and happiness through others and even partake in each other's "Heaven" from time to time... looking across the table into this person's eyes, seeing the smile on their face, and hearing the sound of their voice - revealed with clarity again, this great and powerful love that exists inside me, in each of us.

And so, my heart is with you even when I am not. Reuniting even for a few moments, takes me back "home" in a way that can't be described. Home is home you know... it is where the heart lies... with others, at different places and times. Home is a place of peace without expectation or reservation. Its secure, and comforting. A place of protection as well as freedom.

Jun 7, 2007

Christine Kane's Website

Just a quick note this evening to encourage you to visit Christine Kane's website if you haven't already. She's not only a great singer/songwriter but a great resource for encouragement, self help, empowerment, enthusiasm and all around healthy living.

There are a few links to the right on my sidebar that lists her latest posts on her blog that you can read now, or later. Every time I need some encouraging words about almost anything, I always head to her site.

Really, its worth the trip/click, try it you might like it.

Jun 6, 2007

Who Are You?

This is a repeating theme with me lately. The question: "Who Are You?".

Think about it. Who are you really? We obtain our identities by the people we know, the position we hold in our families, our jobs, the things we like to do, the places we visit, the culture we place ourselves in. But does it really answer that question?

Today I was a manager, and acted as such. When I get home I step into the role of a single 36 year old male, a blogger (as this post indicates), a home owner with laundry to do, etc. Later I may become a student and work on my classes, online of course. This weekend when I visit my dad, I will be the son, possibly the brother if I visit with him, and brother-n-law if I see his wife. But really does it answer the question "Who Are You?"

What if I lost my job? I am no longer the manager/director. What if I lost my father, do I stop being the "son"?

It reminds me of the answer God gave Moses in Exodus when he asks what his name was. As it is with God, we are evolving. In one translation (literal) of the original Hebrew text, God's reply was "Ehyeh asher ehyeh" traditionally translated is "I am that I am", however it's most literal translation is "I shall be that I shall be". Ehyeh is in the imperfective aspect, and can be understood as God saying that he is "in the process of being", a reference saying that he exists in all times, constantly, eternally. Some translations interpret it as "I am that I am becoming".

Many people answer the question with "I am a child of God". This implies that the one answering the question knows about and of God, knows God intimately and therefore identifies with God. That leads me to another question - Who is God?

So, isn't is safe to say, we are constantly changing, who we are depends on the company we keep, the positions and titles we may hold, they are many. But for now and I feel certain for always, I will simply "be"... I am - which says I am here, I am present - I was, I am, and I always will "be".

What becomes of us when the things, places, and people we identify with cease to exist? There is a deeper indication that we must acknowledge who we are in order to keep our identity intact.

So ask yourself, or someone you know... "Who are you" if they answer with their name, let them know thats their name, but Who is that? Continue on this path, until you get to the real question - which is and remains... Who are you?

Analyzing Theft

Today while at work a female smashed a rock through someone's side window and proceeded to steal money and a camera from inside. A patient from a dentist's office saw what was taking place and informed the dentist. Long story short a few people saw her break the window and then when she discovered someone saw her as someone was yelling "hey you have to stop!" she got in her car with a mask on her face and drove away. As she speeded off out of a very quiet and crowded parking lot, it was noticed her licenses plates had been covered over. She had it planned. The cops were called, investigation has ensued. So I thought...what was the reason? Perhaps it was for drugs, to steal money to buy drugs, or something she could pawn. At least thats the first thought. Then I analyzed further in my mind and realized if we all just helped one another more, perhaps this could have been prevented. Yes I know, people will continue to steal things that don't belong to them, vandalizing our property in the process... but what if... What if we all knew we could get help for any problem or situation if we needed it without cost? If she was a drug addict, how did she get to that point? Has anyone ever helped with an "intervention"? Maybe she was hired by someone else, because just a little while earlier, another similiar theft took place in another part of town. Was she without a job? Probably not because she drove a nice enough car. Was she hungry? What if whenever life deals us a bad hand, we always knew there was someone that would help, that would listen, that would be patient, and would not ask for anything in return. How much less theft would there be? Was theft a learned behavior, is this what she watched someone else do, to get something else they wanted?

Why does it have to be this way? We have commercialized the act of being kind and helping out, that it seems a commodity we trade for publicity or recognition. Random acts of kindness... hmm, why does it have to be random and an act? Perhaps if they weren't today's events would have never taken place.