I was just thinking as I was driving back from Staples to pick up ink for my printer..(yet another burden of this life) He has ruined me (good way) its so amazing how when He brings you up higher, how drastically different your perspective changes. Sometimes its the obvious sin in our lives that we think we need liberation from the most, and sometimes that is true but when He molds your heart and mind to seek the things of God: wisdom, understanding, discernment, repentance, etc and you realize the very things that have deceived you the most are your attachments, your intellect, your reasoning... wow what a difference it makes.
I really can't describe what He has been and is doing with me, and I am no saint, but I so desire to be at the very center of His heart and to be empowered to keep ALL His commands, not only because He loves me and I absolutely love what I know about Him so far (its only a fraction of what IS) - He is answering prayer even when we don't feel it, or see it... we expect from our understanding a manifestation of sorts, which most often is not how its gonna work - ahh the mystery of HIs goodness, His faithfulness, His mercies, His perfection. I know coming across Rebecca Sterling's vision and Rebecca herself is no accident or chance happening.
I told someone the other day it feels like (in my spirit when I am able to really focus on it) a very very very deep upwelling of something enormous, like a mighty, mighty current in the deepest ocean, rising and rising... He has turned so many things we live with, into burdens for me, its opened my eyes. The house, the obligations, habits, people coming and going consuming everything in sight, the false teaching and preaching, the deceptions and how deep they go, the constant noise (as opposed to being in silence alone with Him), so many things are changing.
Oh Father I pray! Set us apart! Draw us near, empower us by your Spirit and fill us with wisdom, power and a persistent ache in our hearts to be with You. Empower us to keep ALL your commands, to learn quickly, to be wise, to drink up every drop of your Word that we would be renewed, revived and restored that we would become and remain the remnant, grafted in, bought with your blood, empowered by your Holy Spirit. Open our eyes to see and ears to hear your voice, teach us, comfort us and lead us into all Truth for Your Glory alone!
Thoughts I have when I am out about surprise me. Today as I was driving to staples to get ink I noticed a sign outside a boutique that said "Shoes are louder than words." I immediately thought "What about the Word of God"... when I see commercials I think of the smallest of lies such as "We are rated #1 for.... " this or that, "We are the best in the Nation"... we are surrounded by lies, albeit small and seemingly unimportant, still lies. The deceptions we are subjected to daily never end and no one even realizes it because they have so many attachments, so many idols, so many ties to this world. Few realize how deeply enslaved we are (including myself). The obvious deceptions actually distract us from the subtle ones... we lack understanding or even the desire to acquire it, along with wisdom. We prefer that others think for us, clothe us, feed us, do everything for us and the things we do for ourselves are usually related to some thing or condition we are bound by. So many desires are being removed from me, I can hardly understand it. It feels like I am being turned around in a totally different direction, with laser focus about to come into view, into perspective. I don't want to work in my yard which use to be a peaceful rewarding event, I don't want to buy anything, I don't want to be concerned with my house, my things, I don't want to have to get up and go to work - not because I am lazy, but because I would rather spend that time studying His word, being in His presence..but I find myself in these chains of a mortgage, obligations to people and places, a car loan, medical bills, etc.
My own reasoning and ideals seem to be leaving me, fast! Its liberation! Its freedom! But I deserve none of it and yet I feel I am a long ways from where He wants me to be. So I pray "God do a quick work in me, destroy every idol in my life now! Break every last piece of me that I would not survive but that I would die with You, that I might be resurrected with You! That the old man would finally be put utterly and completely to death!
I want the radical change and faith that would cause me to abandon everything of this world, and trust 100% in Him, at any cost. I really do want that. It scares the you know what out of me, but I know thats what I need, thats the kind of disciple He wants and possibly requires. Surely His grace abounds, but I want to move beyond such great dependence on that grace, I want to be Holy, I want to be righteous!
Aug 6, 2015
Almost 3.5 hours long, but well worth your time one weekend or afternoon. I am not totally sure how I came across the first thing that pointed me to "Flat Earth" material, but now that I am, I have watched and read hours and hours of video, material, etc. Its not my top priority, but if we are in fact on a flat earth - then its an extremely enlightening revelation - and some indication at how deep, how long and how complex the deception goes and continues.
Aug 5, 2015
The Holy Spirit has been bringing this topic up to me frequently over the past several weeks.
Matthew 16:24-26 24Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.…
I learned a long time ago that we are taught to "lay our burdens down at the cross" and what I found to be true is that in doing this, we tend to have to return time and time again. We bring our heartache to the cross, our troubles, our fears, our broken hearts. And while the cross symbolizes much it does not take the place of Yeshua, Jesus Christ or HIs Holy Spirit. The burdens we bare needlessly tend to return time and time again, we carry them until we feel we can't any longer then in crisis mode we seek God on some level. The Truth is, we shouldn't be carrying those burdens at all, therein lies the problem. That fact that WE are carrying them, emphasis on ourselves, is the problem. We are the burden and will continue to be until we do as He said in Matthew.
We must deny ourselves, our carnal pleasures, our own intellect, our own reasoning, our selfishness and pride, our ways, our thoughts, our speech - until we have been transformed by Him, His Word, His Spirit. That is the burden to take up our own cross, to deny ourselves and follow Him. Where do you think He was going when He carried His own cross? Surely not on a lifelong journey across the land, through many relationships, broken marriages, lost jobs, poverty, sickness. Surely He wasn't implying this burden to deny yourself would be forever or at least until that one glad morning when this life was o'er, certainly not until we get to that sweet bye and bye?
He goes on to say anyone who wishes to save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for His sake would find it. Now that seems to be an odd contradiction doesn't it. But take it for it what it is and the context in which He spoke it. If we don't come to the end of ourselves, hanging on to something that identifies us apart from God, then we seek to preserve our lives. But if we do what He says and take up our cross and actually follow Him, just a short ways up Calvary's mountain and lose our life for His sake by dying to self, to be born again then surely we will find true life!
Truly we will inherit the promise of the power of the resurrection. There can be no resurrection or power of the same unless there is death. Its so clear to me and such a beautiful and clear message. Our fleshly minds, our carnal nature is always at odds with the holiness, purity and sanctity of God. He tells us clearly how to put to death those things that are against Him.
Romans 8:12-14 12So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh-- 13for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God...
Likewise we can renew our minds through His Word.
Ephesians 5:25-27 …25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.…
Romans 12:1-3 1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 3For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.…
This to me is really the beginning of Life. Understanding the necessity and benefit of taking up our own cross, denying ourselves and following Him. If you haven't made that walk up to Calvary, while it is a painful and sometimes agonizing process, and sometimes the burden of our own cross, our own lives may be the heaviest to bare, He promises that when we do and follow Him, even unto death, spiritually and otherwise we will have life eternal, abundant life, a ressurected life! To be born of His Holy Spirit what an awesome exchange that is!
Aug 1, 2015
Its overwhelmingly amazing to me how quick God can and does work in our lives when we humble ourselves and seek Him.
Over the past few weeks, I have found myself crying out to Him with a repentant heart, with a desire to be liberated from many things. He is growing my faith, increasing my desire to seek and know Him and to be in His presence. He is increasing my knowledge of His Word and acquainting me more intimately with His Holy Spirit!
At every turn, no matter what it is He has placed on my heart and mind, He provides so much confirmation and is a living witness to the testimony of Himself, that is alive and well within me!
As the days and hours pass, I feel myself almost as if I am in a whirlwhind, that is growing stronger, taller, wider and more powerful - taking me to places I have never known. I am filled with excitement and reverent fear of the One who loves me! Who knows me and accepts me!
I can't even convey with words this miraculous transformation that seems to be happening, I can't even describe it. I find myself constantly speaking to Him and listening for His voice. How I want to be alone witih Him always, to do nothing but spend time in His presence and study more, seek His face more, to know Him like I have never known Him. I continue to pray "God do a quick work in me, circumsize every evil thing, every thing that seeks to exalt itself above you in my heart that nothing of me would be left, only You, only You! Set me apart, and separate me from all the things that have so easily beseeched me in the past and cause my paths to be straight and my walk to be upright, holy and blameless before You! Open my eyes that I will see and ears that I will hear. Seal my lips that I would speak no evil and no unclean utterance would escape my mouth! Help me to guard my thoughts that no lust of the flesh or the intellect would deceive me, and keep my eyes on You Father, that I would not look away to become captive by any evil thing, ensnared by any plot the enemy devises against me! Give me strength and wisdom that I might be a light to those around me that You should be seen and I would be hidden within, that I could not boast in any work, but that You would receive all honor and glory and praise! I want nothing of this world, because it has served only death and destruction, but I want more of You who is Life and gives life eternal! Raise me up with strength and wisdom, discernment and determination to serve You all the days of my life!