It reminded me of a story I wrote long ago... contemplating a relationship I was bound by, but at the time completely seduced by. "The House that ____Built"... maybe I will find it and revise it.. I hope I kept it. Because although at the time I was thinking someone else built the house in my heart, the place where this person lived, in reality it was God who was building the house, His sanctuary. He fortified the foundation with something so simple yet so divine, love. Pure, unconditional love. Himself even, although I didn't recognize Him at the time. I just knew that I loved this person unconditionally and somehow I knew I was experiencing some part of Heaven just by loving.
God built the foundation, and formed the walls with struggle, with pain, with heartache, with joy, happiness, He used all the emotions real and imagined to create those walls. They kept some things out and others in. He covered it with protection a roof that sheltered me when I was uncertain, when I was afraid. He was and is my covering. He fashioned a door and there was only one key and at the time only one person had the key and knew how to use it. To come and go as they wished and I was always there, inside this house.. that I thought ____ built.
But as time grew, as the seasons changed the comfort of having _____ there just didn't seem to fit anymore.. it wasn't complete. The whole purpose for the house to be built was so _____ could be there, to dwell there, to be at home there. But it became empty and I was the only one that remained, feeling like a prisoner in a place that no longer could be complete, or so I thought. It was the most desolate place for so long and the agony of being there almost did me in. Imagine spending what felt like a lifetime building the perfect home for your mate, the love of your life, waiting patiently on his or her arrival, a place to call home, to be with all your lives... you spend all your energy all your emotion and thoughts on this house, making sure its perfect only to have it abandoned by the one you love. Such great and deep heartbreak. I can imagine how Jesus feels when He is rejected... He said in His Father's house are many mansions and that He went to prepare a place for us.... all this time... What great sorrow He must feel for those who have forsaken Him.
But thats exactly what God used to make me realize it was built for Him... the key was never lost or stolen I simply never gave it to its rightful owner. He gladly accepted it and now dwells in "The House God Built" and I feel complete again. Its only a home when He dwells there, when His presence fills the rooms and the warmth of His embrace surrounds me otherwise its a house, that I can allow anyone or anything to occupy. But just as before, those people and things will come and go, some will stay awhile, others will seek shelter and a firm foundation, while others won't even notice it. But God, who built it Himself, the One who belongs there, the One with the key, is the only One who can make it truly a "home". He taught me how to love, so that I can love others. He allowed my heart to be broken, to be shattered and He took all those pieces and put it back together stronger than before, fortified and held with mercy and grace.
In that house in His home, the walls are filled with reminders of His goodness, His mercy, His grace and patience. Sleepless nights with tears and anquish are like movie screens against the plaster with Him standing there comforting me, restoring me, reviving me. When I look up and see the roof, I see all the times He protected me, He gave me comfort and how He never walked away from me even when I walked away from Him.
And when I look down and I see that firm foundation, I can hardly comprehend it. It shall not be moved. It has born the weight of so much burden, so much pain, so much sin, so much confusion. His only Son laid there to be trampled upon, beaten, spat on and pierced... neglected and rejected. But because of that, because of His sacrifice, I stand upon this rock...
"The House that God Built" my resting place, my home with Him, where He dwells and sings over me with joy! He says in His Father's house there are many mansions... and that He went to prepare a place for me... but He built one for me here as well, He loves us that much.. and while this place is not my home, its just a house, but He dwells within this House that He Built!!!