Apr 1, 2015

Sometimes...

When I have had a bad day or week, when I act in ways I wish I hadn't... and those times are frequent some days, some weeks, some times.. I think to myself, God do you measure my sin? Do you see it heaped upon me, at my own hands..?  

I am weary some days, so weary, so tired of this flesh, this intellect, this person that finds himself in this world, but knowing of another. 

The ache in my heart to be free to be liberated and truly redeemed grows as I grow older.  I know the only thing that will ultimately satisfy me is to be in your presence 24/7, to be changed, to be made new once and for all.  To die completely to self, help me get there in this life so that the world see you and never me.  

I have your peace and your joy almost always, an assurance that no other can match.. but here I am, still in this flesh, waiting, wanting, wondering... to be with you, partly because I love you and partly because I want an escape from this world, this life.. not in a sad way but in a weary one.  

I am ruined in a sense, having seen your glory, been saturated in your presence, witnessed a trillion angels singing in perfect praise and harmony...where there is nothing else, and nothing else needed or wanted.  Completely satisfied and filled with unconditional love and peace... I will always be torn until I get to be with you full time.  

Sometimes I just want to go home, I just want to go home.  

No comments:

Post a Comment