I shared a song with some special people yesterday - You Revive Me - Christy Knockels. She sings about how God revives her and all her deserts are rivers of joy, You are the treasure I could not afford, so I will spend myself til I am empty and poor, all for you! You revive me oh Lord!
Tonight I visited a special friend who is pregnant with twins - she's having some complications and is on bedrest, in good spirits, but I know she is concerned, nervous, worried. She didn't notice, because I turned away tonight for a moment, while she answered a call - I was tearing up thinking "I am so sorry you are going through this" for a moment I guess I felt any fear she may be feeling. I am not sure why I didn't show the water well up in my eyes and it made me think about how we spend our lives not showing our true selves for a billion different reasons.
Then I came home and read where my good friend Brooke listened to this song three times. That she needed it.. so I started to listen to it... and maybe I am realizing the song is for me as much as it was for others. I think God is trying to remind me, again, that He has it all in His hands, including me and if I will just be "real" with Him, always, He will ALWAYS revive me.
We are so wired to be self sufficient, to do it all ourselves, to believe we can handle it, we can manage it all. We can be good and do good, and all is well with our lives. But that isn't the case. And we realize it when crisis comes, or when we feel something is lacking in our lives. When we don't have answers for problems we can't figure out, resolve. We fill our lives up with distractions whether it be in our jobs, our families, our self appointed goals and ideals, with things, even with people, relationships. But there is One relationship that trumps all these endeavors, all these things... Surely He is the, He IS the treasure I could not nor ever will be able to afford.
But by His marvelous grace and mercy He stands ready to welcome me with open arms, just as I am, to revive and renew me!
Jason Upton sings a song and part of the lyrics talk about how the empires of this world know us by a number, but God, He knows us by our name! He also sings another song, that speaks of the silence, and how sometimes when we don't know what to pray, what it is we need, that God hears the cry of our heart, and that sometimes just being in His presence, in silence, is more truthful than any words we could speak. What great assurance that is.
So tonight, needing a bit of revival in my heart, my soul, my mind I pray:
Father, wonderful, glorious beautiful Father. Holy Spirit, wonderful counselor, friend truly the lover of my soul - I pray that you would continue to turn my heart to you that nothing of this world would distract me and that you continue to crucify this flesh, this double mind. That my heart, my thoughts, my eyes would be so fixated on you that I would become blind to the world that I might be so drawn to you, so in love with you, that nothing of me would exist. That you would consume every single thing that seeks to set itself apart from you, above you and against you. That you would live and reign fully through this life, this body, that all who see me would know your great and powerful, eternal and transforming love. That I would come to love every single command, every single statute and precept delighting in all your ways!
Revive me Oh Lord, revive me and stir this fire and ignite every single smoldering ember, that nothing would wax cold. Revive me God!