I have found when I am not posting something on the blog, its likely because life has stressed me out, I have strayed from God, I have lost my way. But He is faithful to be waiting for the brief moment when my heart, my mind, my ears are turned toward Him. Its in those moments, although fleeting at times, that He reminds me of great wisdom, of piercing Truth and most of all His great love for me.
Yesterday as I was driving down the freeway from Paintsville KY to Charleston WV, one of those moments happened. I was heading to Charleston to stay at a nearby hotel to the airport in Charleston so I wouldn't have to be up so early today to catch my flight back home for the weekend.
Sometimes I tell myself when I am not sure of the way I will be going or the next turn that Siri will say I need to make, that traveling down the middle lane (if there is one) is the best bet. It seems to provide some sense of balance and sometimes the deceptive idea that I can get in either lane, right or left when the time comes if needed, to exit. Thats exactly what I was doing yesterday afternoon. It was quiet in the car except for the hum of traffic. I pondered that thought of the middle lane, the middle way.... and for a moment when my thoughts settled, He spoke. "The middle way is not the best way". Then just as soon as He spoke those words to my spirit, He reminded me of the vision I had many years ago The Church of Laodicea and especially this passage of scripture:
To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
He expanded on what He meant about being lukewarm. He reminded me of what it felt like to be strung along in a relationship - to be in an unholy soul tie, literally bondage. It is bondage when love and affection are not reciprocated but yet you don't have the strength to let go, to sever the tie that binds. You wish the other person would just hate you or return the affection, not on their terms but yours. You wish they gave as much as you did. Its a terrible place to be - in a relationship (if you call it that) with someone who gives just enough to keep you bound, but not enough to satisfy. You question their love for you (which should be obvious) but a relationship like that is one of bondage, of confusion, of doubt, despair and frustration. Eventually it becomes a burden and more heartache and there is no joy because you eventually realize the truth... that you are just being strung along, so the other person can have their cake and eat it to as we say in the south. This is no relationship at all.
God was speaking to me without speaking and showing me these experiences in my past as I traveled down the middle lane and recounted the vision He gave me. The only middle place that is safe, rewarding, satisfying and renewing is the middle of Him, His presence - as He has also shown me many times. Circular Forest- On the Edge He will not contend with me or anyone else much longer if we choose the middle way - He wants our whole heart, mind, body and soul. He bought and paid for it. The time is growing short and I am desperate for liberty and freedom from the bondage of this world, the sin in my life. I am desperate for His presence and a heart that yearns and aches for Him constantly. He wants us to be completely in love and dedicated to Him, He is tired of being strung along and unlike us, He knows the Truth, He knew it from the moment this dance of ours began and He will not continue much longer.
Surely the obvious exit will soon be in sight and I would rather be in the correct lane, than risk missing the turn or be destroyed trying to get there at the last minute. God Help Me! Burden my heart with an aching desire to constantly be in your presence, to seek you in all things, to have a contrite spirit and a brokenness that only you can repair. Cause my heart to delight in your commands, and all your precepts and statutes - crucify me Father, for there is nothing in me apart from you that is worthy to be called your own. Make me new over and over again!
When I lay myself bare before you, the glory of your presence shines and reveals all the broken parts and those parts that are about to break, you reveal all things and you are above all things. You make known the wretchedness of me.... shatter me that you would make me new, restore me and revive me God! I need you more and more each day, each moment!
Don't wait to get in the right lane, do it now and let God reveal Himself to you, guiding you on the path to righteousness!