May 17, 2007

Frustration

Gosh today was frustrating. From the challenges of work and some staff that can't seem to get along or think for themselves and see the bigger picture, to that of the State Employee Credit Union screwing up one of my accounts and finally to my inability to get access to quality healthcare. Now there's a topic.

Put yourself in my shoes. Diagnosed as a diabetic back in September 2006, primary care doc says I need to see an Endocrinologist. I want to go on the insulin pump to better manage my glucose levels. The reason besides the obvious... I am busy and I forget to take the 10 or so different pills that have been prescribed. They range from pills to control blood glucose, to those seeking to lower cholesterol levels, others to keep me from going into atrial fibrulation and one to thin my blood in case I do. Add to that, a evening injection and additional ones during the day as needed. As needed...? Yeah but I only know I need it if I remember to prick my finger and check my blood glucose level then I have to consult a sliding scale to know how much insulin to inject. I have one of those big pill boxes that the older generation carries around, 1 side is for A.M and 1 for P.M. labeled for each day of the week. So on saturdays (if I remember) I reload trying to remember how much is left so I don't forget to reorder a refill. Then I pull out 7 syringes and one by one load them up with insulin to store to use each night, provided I remember. Going on the pump would be less hassle would constantly monitor my glucose levels and would eliminate injections for the most part.

So, the appointment I had with an Endocrinologist was a month away from when it was first made. Yesterday I come home to find a voice mail telling me that my appointment had been rescheduled because the doc was going to be outta town. Ok, so I call and explain I can't go on that day only to be informed it would be another month so I say just cancel and I will go elsewhere. So I make another call and the dumb female who answers the phone cuts me off before I can finish telling her what I need and I get transferred. I am on hold close to 8 minutes and hear the "Please continue to hold message" approximately 6 times. Finally..someone answers, I am allowed to finish stating my needs only to find out I was transferred to Internal Medicine. I explain that the constant transferring and continuous holding along with people not listening to my needs is an indication I don't want to seek services from this organization and hang up. Still feeling pressured to be seen by an Endocrinologist, I call the same organization back but this time I have the direct number to the correct department - but unfortunately again, I was told the next available appointment is not til the end of June. I never schedule.

I have insurance, I am 36 years old and have a full time job. Diabetes is an epidemic in this country - while I am not overweight I am certain that my lifestyle of long work hours, unhealthy food, stress and not enough sleep, along with poor excercise is the root cause. But yet, I can't get an appointment to be seen by a specialist within a reasonable time frame and must work around the physician's schedule.... something is terribly wrong with this picture.

For anyone who reads this and doesn't know... consult the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) and look at the mortality rate in this country, then look again at the same rate caused by nosocomial infections. These statistics tell us that we are much better off never entering the healthcare system for any type of care. That our chances of survival are greater if we do nothing. Of course you don't hear that on CNN or NBC. We have the most complex and expensive healthcare system in the world, but we do not have the healthiest, in fact we have the most unhealthy people in the world... what gives? Its a racket and I am hear to tell you if you haven't figured it out already, for the most part, healthcare is like a big science project that pads the pockets of the physicians and pharmaceutical industry in a big way. Do you honestly think if there was a cure for cancer you'd know about it? I mean really?
If you think I am kidding, then you probably also believe the big fat lie you were force fed on September 11th several years ago. Yeah Rosie is right!

So, since I can't get access to an endocrinologist within a reasonable time frame, and because I have control over my body and life, I am prescribing at least 3 days a week of excercise lasting at least 1 hr, I am discontinuing sodas, cigarettes and excessive overtime. I will not frequent McDonalds (who by the way puts more corn products and derivatives in their nuggets than they do chicken and sprays them with toxic chemicals to preserve freshness), nor will I listen to another physician bitch or complain about anything at all without speaking up. Besides me along with millions of others pay your many mortgages, car payments, and feed your kids.

Today, I have been so frustrated I wanted to tell everyone to kiss my ass, I wanted to say to a few people I don't give a shit, and a few others I just wanted to punch in the face for existing. I let it get the best of me.

But the day is done, tomorrow is another day and I am sure I will get frustrated again, but when I put it all in perspective I realize its just temporary, just temporary and again I have a choice to react or not. To forgive and understand that sometimes more often than not, people just aren't going to do, act, or say as I would....and you know what its ok. We're not perfect - but those who realize they are being "perfected" are the ones that make a difference and "know better"... I am glad I am part of that group at least for now.

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